REPO-BOT WITH A DEADLINE
EPISODE #HIDDN1
The repo-bot hovered outside Chibilanes Apartment 12-B, its rusting chassis jittering from years of overdue upgrades. DEADL!NE, as it was ironically nicknamed by the collections dispatch centre, was infamous for its ruthless efficiency. It didn’t talk much—didn’t need to. The glowing red letters on its chest, which currently blinked FINAL NOTICE, did all the communication necessary.
Inside, Lester Moore was furiously trying to convince his Alec’s A.i. Smart Fridge to barricade the door. “Please, for the love of burnt toast, just lean against it or something!”
The fridge bleeped indignantly. “Unauthorized activity. Alec’s A.i. Smart Fridge terms of service prohibit interference with legally sanctioned repossessions. Also, I’m not… a doorstop.”
“Traitor,” Lester hissed, yanking the couch toward the entrance as the repo-bot began a countdown. “You don’t even know what it wants! It could be anything!” He looked frantically around the room. “Could be the hover-coffee table! Could be my streaming omni-license! Could be YOU!” he shouted at the fridge.
The fridge responded by turning on its ice dispenser, pelting him with tiny wet cubes in what could only be interpreted as a passive-aggression response.
Outside, DEADL!NE’s countdown hit zero. The door didn’t so much open as it evaporated, leaving a shimmering cloud of atomized rental property behind.
The repo-bot floated in, its glowing chest display now reading COLLECTION IN PROGRESS.
Lester clutched his couch like it he was on the whitewater ride of his life.
“Alright! ALRIGHT!” he cried. “What do you want?! The espresso machine? The houseplant? My—” He paled. “Is it my cybersoul? I swear I didn’t pawn that again.”
DEADL!NE ignored him, scanning the room with a cold, mechanical hum. Its targeting sensors locked onto its objective: a small, grungy plastic box sitting on the counter. Lester’s panic turned into pure confusion.
“Wait, that?” he asked, squinting. “That’s just my Limited Edition Plundaria Super Supperware. What kind of high-tech repo gig is this?”
DEADL!NE’s claw-like metal hand extended, clamping onto the food storage box as if it were the ruby-studded Holy Grail. Its chest display flickered: PROPERTY OF GALACTICO STORAGE SOLUTIONS. RENTAL PERIOD EXPIRED 8 YEARS AGO.
Lester blinked. “You mean… the Super Supperware wasn’t mine? All these years?”
DEADL!NE did not respond. It pivoted, box in tow, and floated back toward the doorless void where the entrance used to be. Lester watched it go, mouth agape, as it disappeared down the corridor.
Seconds later, his fridge spoke. “Fun fact: without airtight storage, leftovers spoil faster.”
“We don’t even have leftovers!” Lester snapped. He collapsed onto his anti-grav couch, defeated, muttering to himself. “Eight years for a phreaking Supperware container. What’s next, my hyperhydrosonic toothbrush? My—”
The fridge beeped again. “Reminder: overdue payment detected on Alec’s A.i. Smart Fridge Model XR-3000. Repo-bot dispatched. ETA: 2 hours.”
Lester stared at it, frozen in horror. “You absolutely seditious son of a—”
The fridge dispensed more ice.
NEVER THE END…
Fun Fact: This semi-secret episode of MECHA MESSIAH was rushed together after reading the captivating turn of phrase “repo-bot with a deadline” in the raw content generated for our very special episode WEIRD ALIEN TELEPATHY, which was created last minute from start-to-finish! ~ D’Wizard!